Are you a placeholder? It doesn’t get much worse than being the stand-in to a person who is looking for “the one” and you are not it. How do you know if you are just a placeholder? It can get tricky because you are the one sitting on the other side of the dinner table, spending all the important holidays together and doing all the little things people do in a relationship, but this person is just using you until in their eyes they meet “the one.”Unfortunately we are seeing this scenario play out more and more at Eye Spy Investigations and our team of expert investigators has comprised a list of some tried and true red flags we have come across over the last 26 years that can help you see if you are in a placeholder situation and need to get out ASAP!
Signs You Are A Placeholder
- Can’t commit to plans
If your partner always finds a way to get out of talking about the future, this is a big flashing warning sign you are not their person. Someone cautious about making short-term plans should be an even bigger red flag because taking it day by day means you are not a thought in their future at all.
- You are the rebound
Being the rebound after someone has gotten out of a relationship can be a clear indicator you are the placeholder. More often than not, these relationships are temporary but there are always those special stories where the rebound is actually “the one.”
- You’ve Never met their family
You may have been together for sometime now but you still have yet to meet their family and close friends. This scenario plays out on their time. Your partner is content spending time with you. But in reality they are not committed. Chances are, they are still holding out for “the one” in their eyes.
- They are always busy
If someone truly wants to be with you and you are a priority to them, they will always find time for you. If you are just a placeholder you are viewed as nothing more than someone there for intimacy, wedding dates or until something better comes their way. Being downplayed in your relationship is a sure sign your partner is waiting and looking for the next best thing.
Are You a Stand-In
- No serious discussions
You have to see it as a red flag when those serious discussions are just not happening. But, you are in a place where they should. If you are always there as your partners date but there is no discussion about moving in together, getting engaged and meeting family and friends you are just the flavor of the month.
- They are self absorbed
If your partner rarely asks you about your day, forgets important things you tell them or doesn’t even look up from their phone to greet you when you walk in, all signs point to you being a placeholder.
- They don’t respect you
If you don’t have trust, honesty love and respect, what is the point? In any relationship these virtues are an important part of building a strong foundation.
- You never feel included
Does your partner makes you feel like a tag-along? Rather than being an essential part of their group, you are just a placeholder. Do you feel important to your partner when you are with them? This is generally a red flag of bigger problems to come.
Know Your Worth
You deserve to be an important part of your partner’s life, and you shouldn’t settle for anything less. “Placeholder-dom” is all about settling. Pay attention to these red flags, even though it’s hard to admit sometimes, be real with yourself for your own good. Take matters into your own hands and move on because you are worth more. If you weren’t a placeholder, you would be a priority. Your plans would actually matter. Stand tall and love yourself. Don’t let someone take this away from you.