Lovebombing! What is it, and how can we spot it?
Lovebombing is known as, someone showering you with gifts in the beginning to build trust. Not only are they trying to build trust, but they use it as a way to control you.
Treat Me Like A Queen
I was once with someone who would buy me things all the time. Personally i’m not the materialistic type. I was raised to always take care of myself, especially when it came to buying things. I was also raised to appreciate someone when they did pay for my things. In the beginning of my relationship with this person, he treated me better than I’ve ever been treated before.
He would take me out to nice restaurants, surprise me with little gifts, and always made sure anywhere we went my hand didn’t touch the bill. It took a while to get used to and I always offered to pay for things, but I didn’t stand a chance to fight for the bill. Now everyone knows in the beginning of a relationship it’s all lovey dovey at first.
So after a while things started to change. All the little gifts he had bought for me and all the times he had paid for something, was being thrown in my face. He used it as a way to try to control me, and make me feel that I owed him something. If things weren’t going his way it was his chance to use all the things he had done for me as an excuse to treat me poorly.
Wait A Minute
I knew it wasn’t right and that this wasn’t the way things were supposed to be. I would sit there and wonder if it was just me, and if I just didn’t see the type of person he was this whole time. That wasn’t the case. Sometimes people don’t show their true colors in the beginning of a relationship.
This is what lovebombing is. They pretend to be someone they’re not. They put up a front as a good person, shower you with gifts and surprises. Boost your self confidence so they can use it against you, when they feel they’re losing the control they had built over you.
After getting out of a relationship like this with someone, I have dated here and there. Certain people I had went out with I could spot out a few things that seemed familiar with my most recent relationship. Acting in a possessive manner, their body language and the way they touch, sometimes they way they used their words too. Those are a few things I always make sure to keep an eye out for.
The Reality Is
Just because someone treats you good, buys you things, and takes care of you does not mean they’re lovebombing you. There are still good people out there that exist, and will love you unconditionally. However there are certain things to watch out for in a person. In some cases, people that act this way can turn physically or mentally abusive. It’s important to know the truth about the person you are involving yourself with.
If you or someone you know may be in a situation like this call us and speak with an investigator at (888)-393-7799
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