Cheating On Your Spouse

Cheating On Your Spouse

Cheating On Your Spouse

Cheating On Your Spouse

Having an affair is not even on your radar. Never gonna happen. You love your spouse and you’d never be unfaithful to her or him. However, you may be unaware of other ways you are being unfaithful. If these actions continue, you may find yourself on the slippery slope that leads to that never-intended affair and a sorrow you never wanted in your life.

Unfaithfulness usually creeps in through the back door, disguising itself as harmless fun or innocent behavior. If you want your marriage to endure and be filled with happiness you may need to check this list to see if you have fallen prey to any of these unfaithful behaviors.

There are many signs that you May Be Cheating On Your Spouse Without Even Realizing It. Sexual affairs may be the most widely known type of infidelity, but these days, betrayal take many forms.

If effort is consistently being expended outside the marriage, that may be a sign of a non-traditional affair, like an emotional affair. The result of a non-traditional affair is the same: The spouse feels hurt, disillusioned and marginalized.

Cheating On Your Spouse

Here are the most damaging types of betrayals that occur in modern marriages:

  1. The Physical Affair

This type of affair usually starts by spending time alone with someone else. What appears to be an innocent lunch out with someone of the opposite sex or stopping by for a chat at that someone’s home without your spouse is definitely in the category of unfaithful behavior. You or the other person may say, “Hey, we’re both adults. Nothing’s going to happen.” Well, things do happen. It’s not appropriate. Go home and spend that time with your spouse.

This is the most widely known type of affair: Just as humans have emotional needs, we have physical needs, too. We are all social animals and our simple needs are primitive: we desire sex. Outside of the heightened physical pleasure sex provides, sex can release oxytocin, a bonding hormone. That’s why a lack of sex within a couple can cause one to stray in order for them to get those physical and emotional needs met.

2. The Emotional Affair

It begins with flirting. Having a little playful fun at the office with a co-worker can’t be too bad, you may rationalize. After all, flirting is fun. Avoid it like the plague. It’s dangerous. If someone flirts with you, ignore it.

Married people should never engage in this type of behavior with anyone other than their spouse. It is a full-on form of unfaithfulness that leads to no good. The one you’re flirting with may take it as an invitation and pursue a relationship you never intended.

Dressing to attract the attention of someone other than your spouse. If you’re dressing up to look good for someone else, you need to reexamine your motives. Trying to attract someone else by wearing a sexy looking outfit is one more way to jump into unfaithful waters.

In this type of affair, one partner is starving for an adult emotional connection, and they’ve usually given up on getting it from their spouse. The partner may be depressed and not feel like themselves anymore. Then, someone they know, a co-worker for instance, pays attention to them. They laugh at jokes, comment on the married person’s devotion to their kids. The two become emotionally connected. The partner usually justifies the emotional affair because they see it as the lesser of two evils: They don’t have to leave their spouse or break up the family but in the meantime, they’re willing to supplement their marriage with another person.

Talking negatively about your mate. When you are a true friend to someone you never say bad things about them to others. Your mate is your best friend and is the last person you should ever talk about negatively. If you have a beef with your honey, talk it out with him or her. Let your conversations with others focus on the good things about your spouse. That’s being faithful. The exception here is abuse. If abuse is happening it needs to be reported to a trusted friend, counselor, and the police. You must keep yourself safe.

3. The Online Affair

Chatting on the Internet with someone of the opposite sex. If you think this is harmless, think again. It may start out that way, but it definitely won’t end that way. Some have engaged in what they considered innocent talk with a former boyfriend or girlfriend from high school or college days, or even a stranger. One thing can lead to another and before you know it, your marriage is in jeopardy. Don’t do it. It will only end in sorrow and heartbreak for your family.

Confiding in the opposite gender. When you pour out your troubles to someone of the opposite gender you are putting yourself in a vulnerable position. It may seem harmless. After all, you just needed a shoulder to cry on. If you’ve got a problem, talk about it with your spouse. That’s your best-ever shoulder to cry on. If that’s not working for you, try a trusted relative, clergyman, or therapist. Not someone who may consider this an invitation for intimacy. Even if it doesn’t start that way, too often it ends that way. It’s a form of unfaithfulness.

Chatting on the Internet with someone of the opposite sex. If you think this is harmless, think again. It may start out that way, but it definitely won’t end that way. Some have engaged in what they considered innocent talk with a former boyfriend or girlfriend from high school or college days, or even a stranger. One thing can lead to another and before you know it, your marriage is in jeopardy. Don’t do it. It will only end in sorrow and heartbreak for your family.

When we think of cheating, many of us think of opportunistic one-night stands, physical affairs and illicit secret trysts. But now with online and smartphone accessibility, there are new forms of cheating: you don’t even have to leave your home to have a cyber affair with a stranger or stream porn online. Most online cheaters we’ve spoken to believe ‘it’s no big deal’ and that they are not really cheating because they’re not getting physical with anyone in real life. They believe that their dalliances allow them to stay in their marriage or relationship because it diffuses their boredom. As I’ve seen, these ‘innocent liaisons’ can become a fatal blow to a relationship.

4. The What-If Affair

If you’re consistently reliving the love you had with a partner from the past, you’re doing your marriage a disservice. Thinking about past loves with affection is perfectly normal. But if you’re pining for an old relationship or keeping that person on the back burner, you’re not giving your current partner a fair shake. Even if you truly believe that other person is the one who got away, it’s time to move on and be present for your partner. And remember, that relationship didn’t work out for a good reason…or 10

5. The Interest Affair

Many a marriage is destroyed over this neglected category that we call interest affairs. Just like alcohol or drug addiction, interest affairs do tremendous damage to relationships and families and are difficult to treat. The damage begins when a spouse turns into a zealot or fanatic over something. The possibilities are endless: politics and politicians, sports, hunting, religion, a friend, family member, child pageants, crafting, selling beauty products, exercise, food, nutrition ― it really can be any interest. What is true of all of them is that a husband or wife becomes so obsessed with their favorite new activity that it becomes their first priority over their spouse. The only difference with this type of affair is that these distractions are not romantic, sexual or secretive.

6. The Financial Affair

Financial infidelity is surprisingly frequent among couples. The issue that is most difficult to recover from is the lack of transparency. It often leads to broken trust. Financial infidelity may come in the form of withholding information about spending habits, accumulating credit card debt which a partner has no knowledge of, supporting others outside of the relationship financially or keeping any other form of spending or financial decision-making a secret. The secrecy of financial infidelity leaves the deepest scars. When there is intentional withholding of information regarding finances, the trust is almost always damaged.

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